BIRTHDAY PARTIES

[sarmasastrigal]

Birthday parties

Qn. Celebrating birthday parties has these days become a way of life. What do you feel about this?

Ans. Generally in our tradition, there is no place for individual birthday celebrations. We celebrate birthdays, otherwise called as jayanti functions, of Gods. Sri Krishna jayanti, Sri Rama jayanti and Sri Narasimha jayanthi Vinayaka Chathurti are some examples. The Sastras prescribe the right way, Puja Vidhanam, to perform such Jayanthis.

Partying for our own birthdays is a recent phenomenon: on the birthday of a child earlier elders of the household would go to the temple and perform a simple archana.

However, If you feel that you should celebrate the birthday please do not follow the Western culture in doing so, You can go to a temple, or at home you can organise a Veda parayana or nama sankirtana, and devote yourself to prayer for your well-being. Of course in some parts of Kerala we find the practice of performing Ayushya Homam; it is their desacharam.

Especially the practice of blowing out candles is reprehensible to our Dharma. We believe in lighting lamps to celebrate something, not putting them out. The practice of cutting cakes also to be avoided.

Marriage day (Wedding day):
While on the subject I may say a word about the wedding day. This can be celebrated and it is in our sastric way of life. Of course the day should not be the English Calander day and instead the Nakshatram on which the wedding took place to be taken into account and be remembered and can be celebrated every year keeping our own traditional way in mind.

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[Sumi]

Excellent Post, Shri Sastrigal. Thank you.

This trend of Birthday Parties needs to be shunned.

I have lived in big apartment complexes (still do) where almost everyday, there is one birthday celebration or the other. The kids and the parents start preparing atleast a week in advance - inviting friends, neighbours, organizing games, selecting the huge cake, choosing gifts for the other children attending the party, and ofcourse, buying lots and lots of food and drink. As always, children don't eat all the food that is served, and most of it is thrown into the garbage.

When millions in our country go without even one square meal a day, it is painful to see food being thrown away.

Well, we may want to celebrate birthdays and other occasions, and it is indeed very special when it comes to our own children. But, in residential complexes when people of different lifestyle and status reside, these celebrations I think are becoming more of a status symbol, and is just an ugly display of one's ego and wealth.

I would like to share a personal incident, for the benefit of parents.

All children do love being pampered, and receiving gifts, and really look forward to the food, dance and music at birthdays. My son was no exception either. One day a few years ago, I sat down with him and explained why such parties are a waste of money and the plans that I have made to make his day really memorable and enjoyable. He agreed reluctantly!

On his next birthday, I took him to a home for street children. There were about a 100 children in the home in different age groups, and as I had informed them earlier that I would like to celebrate my son's birthday with them, the children were all sitting at their tables eagerly waiting for the sweets that I had brought for them.

My son was dressed up in brand new clothes as it was his birthday, and it was for the first time I think he saw children of his own age dressed in torn attire. He was the VIP that day!. When he went around the tables distributing the sweets, each of the little children stood up to greet my son, and shook hands with him. We spent about 2 hours at the home. The children also entertained my son with some music and dance.

My little boy only then realized how privileged he was. He had so many things that the other children did not have. He was very quiet on the way back home, and then later that night, he expressed a desire to visit the home again sometime. He also asked me if I could give away some his old clothes to the kids which I actually did!

On his subsequent birthday, I took him to a home for mentally challenged children. He had never seen such children all his life, and could not forget the experience for several weeks thereafter. He would keep on talking about the children there. I have been continuing this practice till date.

Teach your children to give. There is so much pleasure when you can make someone else happy. Try it once, and tell me if I am wrong.

Allow your children to participate in some kind of community service in school. It gives them an opportunity to know how lucky they are in this world. It also gives them an opportunity to know that there are less privileged children around them who are deprived of even basic necessities in life. It also allows them to know that there are bigger joys in life than computers, video games and play stations!

We are living at a time when we are spoiling our kids with expensive clothes, gadgets, and what not. Let them also know that all this is not permanent in life, and teach them to thank God everyday for what they have got now.

[venkatswam]

Especially blowing the fire (agni) off the candle, - the more the age, the more the number of candles is an awful sight to see.

[rrajeshwari]

Wonderful post! This generation kids need to realize the value of what they got! I got very good idea by reading this post. I will talk to my kids and follow what you did. Instead of sharing the joy with friends who have everything, why not share with someone who needs it!

Thank you very much.

[Sumi]

Dear Smt Rajeshwari, Welcome to our Forum.

We are glad that our posts are creating a positive change in our members.

Our Mahaswami Himself has said in Deivathin Kural that parties and toasts are nothing but part of modern art of deception and have nothing to do with the cleansing of mind.

Please read His upadesam on this link www.periva.proboards.com/index.cgi?board=divyadarshan&action=display&thread=2983 which is a part of our Divine Thoughts Series.