Palakkad side traditions- please clarify

[darshini]

One of my friend got married in a Palakkad brahmin family. She was from kumbakonam side.

Her mother-in-law says certain traditions to be different in palakkadu side. For example palakkadu people do not observe madi so much it seems.

I have myself heared my mother say that when the pattu sari is washed once it is not considered madi.But if it is kept with out washing it can be worn many times in case of puja etc.They even say you should not eat with your pattu sari( Kuurai pudavai ) if you do so the madi is lost.

It seems for pallakadu side they do not observe all this. They consider pattu(silk) even if it washed to be madi.

She feels very different on certain things like this. I really cannot see any difference in all these customs just because of difference in place. After all they also belong to the same group of brahmins.

I would really like to know from the members from the dharma sastra point of view if these differences are accepted.

Is there anything wrong if she follows certain things different to her husband side customs and practices.

[darshini]

Thanks for the reply.Whatever you have posted is true to some extent. But if we keep on relaxing our rules the next generation will definitely know nothing about customs and practices. I have even seen kids saying elders themselves do not follow the rules properly, why should we?

I may be wrong. But it is so pathetic to see that our elders themselves do not know much about all these things and we are in a situation to accept what ever we think and we do is correct.

One way it is true that if we do not think much about all these things, nothing is going to be lost. But there must been some significance attached to all these customs.

There is no doubt that we can just follow what is being told by our parents and in laws but I think we should also clarify and come to a better understanding of why it is being done so .
Most of the elders know that we should do certain things and should not do certain things but if we ask them why, they either do not know or they are not ready to explain.

Please forgive me if I am wrong or offending anyone in anyway.

[sarmasastrigal]

I have dealt with the same subject in my book 'The Great Hindu Tradition' to some extent. I take this opportunity to reproduce here the following two Questions & Answers taken from the FAQ section of the book which may be of helpful to the members, I believe.

Sandalwood paste

Qn. What are the points to be noted (in applying sandalwood paste on the body)?

Ans. Women should apply sandalwood paste only on the neck. It is not in our custom for ladies to apply it on the forehead.

Men on the contrary should wear it only on the forehead and not on the neck.

We also see men applying sandalwood paste on the chest and hands after food, but this is more out of hospitality after a feast or a bhojana. It is in our sampradaya.

Qn. But in Kerala it is seen that most women wear sandalwood paste on the forehead.

Ans. This is as per the regional practice, otherwise called desaachara. Over the centuries some of the customs have evolved and changed depending upon the region. Thus in Kerala women do not tie their hair but keep the tress flowing openly. Again the practice of ladies covering the front with a ‘dhavani’ (half-sari) is not followed there

These practices are exclusive to the region and should not to be followed in other places, where the common law is to be the guide. In fact, many old and questionable regional practices are being given up in favour of common practices.

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On a different note, I may also point out that we do observe some small deviations here and there while perorming Sraaddha karyams in the families of Palakkad area. Here again, let me say, that we need not break our heads. Just allow them to practice their 'desaachaara' paddhathis as long as it doesn't harm the pradhaana prayogams in our rituals.

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[darshini]

Thanks for the reply i am happy that a expert has replied

[lakshminatarajan]

Can u eloborate more points on what Kumbakonam people do religiously and palakkads do not follow as per tanjur style . Moreover we tanjur have a saying we take daughter in law from palakkkads but we do not give daughters to palakkads why so?

[venkatswam]

There are many such 'idai cherugals' - I mean too many things that got mixed up in the middle. Not just between Kumbakonam and Palakkad. But between North Arcot traditions, Tirunelveli traditions etc. But in my observation, I find that even fundamental Dharmas are being changed - which are not Desacharams, but iit being used as a disguise. We need to be really careful about the distinction as to what is Desacharam and what is shastram. Sampradayams, I dont think, can over rule basic dharma shastram. - For example - in Sumangali Prarthanai, I observe that the Sumangali Saree will be offered to the daughter-in-law of the family whereas in Kumbakonam side it is offered to the daughter. These are sampradaya bedhams and does not affect shastras. These can be considered as desacharams.

[s. padmanabha iyer]

thanks